Comments : 42

Hi there,? I have updated my wonderful Steals and Deals from yesterday to reflect what is still available, still a few goodies to be had. If you missed it click here.? It’s time for our monthly By Invitation Only posts. This months theme was to post 5 things that we wish we could change.

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I had to show tremendous restraint to not rant and go on and on, because my list could easily contain 20 things I would love to see changed but here are my top five. You may or may not agree with me, this is just a personal narrative as the intention is for each of us to express what really bothers us, and all five of these are big ones for me.

It was almost therapeutic to be able to “talk” about them here…..as they are things unfortunately that are a part of our lives today and there is no escaping it.? Would love to know if any or maybe even all of these would make your top five? Here we go……..

 

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1. RUDENESS AND LACK OF COMMON COURTESY. Few things make me cringe as much as obnoxious, rude, arrogant, narcissistic people. Seeing someone talking down to someone because they feel they are more or higher than makes my skin crawl. Seeing someone bark orders to a waiter makes me mad! Watching someone berate their own kid on a sports field or otherwise publicly makes me sad.

Watching someone demean their spouse or someone “they love” to make themselves feel better outrages me. Watching a man rudely walk in front? of a woman just so he can pass through a door and not hold it for her annoys me to no end, sometimes I feel chivalry is almost dead. Maybe I am more sensitive to this because both my father and husband are true gentleman in every sense of the word, by far one of their most admirable traits:)

 

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What’s wrong here? To me, I see men sitting who should have been chivalrous enough to offer this obviously pregnant woman a seat…at least offer!!

All of this boils down to one thing…..rudeness and a lack of empathy. WE NEED MORE OF IT!? It takes as much and possibly less energy to be kind, nice to someone, to extend a compliment ( we all know the feeling of being complimented, the best feeling on earth, right)? So this is my first thing for sure!

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2. NO SEAT BELTS ON SCHOOL BUSES. Wait a minute, we can get stopped and ticketed for not wearing one in a car but an entire bus of young unruly rowdy children bouncing around a rickety school bus with not a seat belt in sight is OK????? What am I missing here people??? Seriously how did this happen!!!

It defies any logic! So let me get this straight, a 5 year old in your back seat who is likely to for the most part sit there and mind his own business MUST wear his seat belt because its the law? as opposed to TWENTY FIVE? 5 year olds on a bus not only not having a seat belt to wear but being able to stand up and often change seats when they are so inclined with nary a word much less getting a ticket? I mean where is the logic PLEASE help me out here.

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3. THE DUMBING DOWN OF AMERICA. Oh this one gets to me real baaaaaaad. I mean all joking aside have you seen whats on TV? I am F L O O R E D.While sick in bed for a few days, I got the “pleasure” of many hours of TV viewing and my mouth was on the floor with what is being shown.

And if my kids were young, seriously I might consider not even owning a TV. Ever. Never has it been so depressing. Never has it been so acceptable to televise absolute garbage. I mean the likes of Honey Boo Boo,Mafia Wives, Toddlers and Tiaras, The Amish Mafia and such make Jersey Shore look as wholesome as Mr. Rogers!!

What are our young impressionable kids supposed to think when they see this, when this type of behavior is glorified and shoved down their throats? That its OK, acceptable and dare I say even “cool” to be this way, behave this way. I say its a sad day for America when this is what you see. I am sorry but it appalls and saddens me.

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Mob-Wives

 

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4. IGNORANCE. This could almost be lumped with my number one, rudeness. But ignorance deserves its own special little category. I witnessed something the other day that really really upset me. It was a man of a certain ethnicity making another person (who worked in a store) of another ethnicity? feel like he was “less than”, clearly this man thought he was superior to this other person and the degree of ignorance he showed was appalling.

I witnessed it and he was all but verbally abusing him. It really made me sad to witness, so? I promptly? reported him to the manager without a seconds thought. Yes, I am like a neighborhood vigilante, I report things that make do not seem just or in this case absolutely wrong.

He was so out of line and sadly this is not the first time it has happened. I have seen other prejudices where others who don’t fit in that perfect little box of what some think of as “normal” are treated poorly.? People are quick to judge and not afraid to speak their minds….but I try to always remember a saying that I preach often, “assume that everyone is fighting a battle, some big and some small but everyone is fighting something”. I truly believe that and if everyone subscribed to that mantra, perhaps our world would be a bit kinder.

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4.INSTANT GRATIFICATION. This is a big one for me! I will be the first to say it……..never thought I would be complaining about getting something too soon. I mean is there such a thing? Well, yes there is.

You see, I miss the old days when we wanted to see a new movie that just came out on DVD we had to drive to Blockbuster and actually get out of our car and walk in and scroll the aisles, I remember it fondly as it was a family affair…the kids would scatter to the kids section and my husband and I would battle over the latest action flick vs. a period film I couldn’t wait to see (of course we got both).

Then of course there was the candy and popcorn aisle. Don’t even get me started they always had deals that enticed us to walk away with way too much “good stuff” then we came home and it was like a whole ritual……make the popcorn, pop the DVD in and enjoy. Now…..you don’t even have to leave your bed and with the flick of a button on your remote you have thousands of movies at your fingertips.

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Ditto books…..I could cry when I think back to my favorite ritual about escaping to Borders, always settling in with a cup of coffee or cappuccino (and yes the prerequisite sweet) and would spend hours looking at books, magazines, it literally felt like a mental getaway. Now with all the e books a book and even magazines just a touch of a button away, you don’t even have to leave your house to read virtually anything.

It goes on….the way kids know what every single girl is wearing to prom because there are Facebook pages set up for it well before the big night begins, no more surprises and heck, isn’t that part of the magic of prom night?

How about for those who love to work, well thanks to technology, they can bring their office with them. They can be in constant contact, Skype, video chat, whatever needs to be done. So much for taking a break from the office to go on vacation:( 15 years ago when you went on vacation, you were unreachable and anything that required your attention just had to wait until you returned. And guess what……..? the office was still standing when you returned from your V A C A T I O N:)

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How about when you went on vacation, you WENT ON VACATION. As in you were not reachable, period. And when you came home you couldn’t wait to share the highlights with your friends and family and? waited in baited breath? to get those pictures developed at your local CVS or photo store, and excitedly anticipated getting to see and share them.

Now…..you are texting your inner circle on the hour while? on vacation, they? know your every move through Instagram and Twitter, your every meal is documented and photographed, your friends and family are all but eating there with you!? And those vacation pictures? They? are all photo shopped and put in an online album well before your flight home even touches the tarmac.? Yes, it’s like everyone you know and love was right there with you, going on a trip is now rather anti climatic. Why did we even go on vacation? I mean I love them and all but still a vacation should be just that…..a? total getaway from everything and everyone.

Good for the mind, body and soul.

 

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This should be posted at every airport as a friendly reminder that you are on vacation……..

 

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So……as you can see I have some definite opinions here, ones I feel strongly about. I always say to those who know me well I was so born in the wrong era. If I could click my heels and go back in time I could happily ditch all my tech gadgets and do it!? Does this resonate at all with you? I am an age where I got to see both sides of this coin and I will stand here and tell you I would in a heartbeat go back to the simpler times when technology did not rule our every thought and movement. Things are moving too fast too soon.

I am afraid of all this instant gratification and the ramifications it might have on the next generation. They don’t know what it is to wait and anticipate something. That journey is so much a part of the process and makes the reward so much sweeter in my estimation. I know we are unlikely to regress and go back but boy, if we could I would be one happy girl.

Thanks as always for stopping in and hearing what I have to say. Curious what your five things might be? Any of the above? Love to hear from my readers so feel free to chime in and tell me your thoughts on the matter. Wishing everyone a wonderful day…sun is shining here, skies are blue so it’s all good:)

If you would like to see what the other bloggers? in the group, By Invitation Only had to say on the matter, click here to Marsha over at Splenderosa? where you can see all that have participated.

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Amy on

Tina this was great. I am in total agreement with you and everything you said in 5 is so true. It is too much, I don’t like all the instant access we have to every move that every one makes. And people are rushing too much to get to where they want to go that they are rude and cold in the process. I loved your views and enjoyed your humorous edge as well. Have a great day.

katie clooney on

I agree with you on all points. Especially the rudeness and ignorance part. Well said. Nothing shows lack of class more than someone talking down to people in a service position. Glad you didn’t group Real Housewives in with the garbage group! I would sic Ramona on you. BTW… I mentioned some of your steals and deals on my Mother’s Day post. Have a wonderful day, Tina!

Karena on

I concur Tina on all counts. One thing I always do is say something courteous and kind to servers, salespeople, the checkout lady, etc. You can imagine their day and how telling a lady sacking groceries that her earrings are pretty can make her feel! So very important in my book.

xoxo
Karena
The Arts by Karena

LA CONTESSA on

BINGO!
Love your list……..GO see mine!We share a few of the same.
Your vacation bit……………WELL SAID!

Bj on

I agree with so many of your points, but especially the fact that almost everyone carries something, a loss, a disappointment, a little hole in their heart and I’ve decided to say good morning, or smile at people on a regular basis. It costs so little to offer a hand or a smile and the response has been amazing. I guess it’s my small way of reaching out.

Holly on

Totally agree! I don’t know your age but if your kids were able to cruise the isles of blockbuster, I’m a few years behind you and I still concur! I am constantly leaving my phone behind or letting it go dead and it frustrates my friends like crazy. But not me. Why can’t our kids just go dig in the dirt? Mine do on days that are “no electronic” days. But on days that they can play, it’s like their creative brains get turned off.

Don’t get me started with TV programming. If it weren’t for football in the fall, I would turn off all cable!

BONNIE on

Hi Tina,
You and I were definitely born in the same era!!!! There is not one thing I disagree with!!!! My daughter has junior prom Friday, and was under no circumstance allowed to post her dress!!!!! We have to keep some things in life private!!!! STAY STRONG MY FRIEND….

on

Here! Here!!!

Kathy Wood on

Tina–I am a mother of 8 and I don’t allow tv or videos in my home. It has helped me keep all that you talked about out of my family. We lead a normal active family life with school and athletics but we just don’t sit around and watch tv and play video games. Great minds and great inventions do not happen in front of the tv nor does a great work ethic. You are spot on and I couldn’t agree more but I do think so much of this has happened because we have lost a sense of personhood and humanity. We no longer see another human being but an object to control and manipulate. Love, kindness, cheerfulness, and generosity make you feel so much better then anger, pride and hatred. I try to spread a little good- ness everyday, no matter how small it may seem sometimes. I remind my children often that no small act of kindness goes to waste. The change comes one person at a time. I can’t give up hope.

franki on

VERBATIM!!!! THAT is why I enjoy your blog so very much…and the reason I “go to” the blogs I do…they are NICE. Guess I will emphasize the “dumbing down” just rocks me…what a sad state..fortunately, we have the “OFF” button!! franki

jerri on

Thank you, Tina. My sentiments, too. Sometimes I think I am just “old fashioned”; it is so nice to know that it’s not just me!!

Susan on

Read every work shaking my head in agreement. you are so right. I totally agree with every single thing. i have always said that about school buses and no seatbelts, it is crazy.

People have gotten ruder and I blame technology and the way people do not have patience any more, laughed at the vacation part but its so true. And TV has never been this bad, it is horrible. My kids are only allowed 1 hour a day (I put timers on our TVS) and there are many stations they are not allowed to watch. There is nothing being censored anymore and its disgusting.

Tina, you reinforced why i like your blog so much. Thank you.

Esther George on

Hi Tina I agree with all your comments. You will be happy to hear the television shows you mentioned we don’t get over here, thank god or I would have more things to yell at the tv for (no I’m not going mad) it’s just people don’t seem to realise they are being stripped of their humanity and their dignity. The question I asked my husband just yesterday was we are so used to these electronic gadgets if it all came crashing down tomorrow it would be a total disaster. This was so interesting, thank you for sharing. Regards Esther from Sydney heading for winter and it has been cold.

Anita Rivera on

Good morning tina! I agree. And as a teacher, I have to battle with devices. At the high school level, I have to start my lecture by asking everyone to put their devices away, and no earphones while I am speaking. At the middle school, I have to literally take some phones away because these kids are addicted to them. I give them a ten minute break from french and what do they? They all whip out their phones instead of chatting with each other. I see the barrage of technology destroying the thinking process. I only blog to connect and create…period. anita

Robbin on

The lady on the bus photo reminded me of a time when I was in Bermuda. My husband and I had to wait for a bus and it was around the time the schools were getting out. We were swarmed by children in uniforms waiting to go home. When the bus arrived the children actually stepped back and told us to go first. While on the bus I noticed they posted at the top above the windows that it was expected to have the passengers give up seats for all women w/children and I think elderly. I was alittle annoyed as we went along, how a man (I think he was a tourist), was just sitting there as a women w/children struggled to get into the bus and find a seat…I wanted to say something but held my tongue… Why don’t “we” who are tired of this and want a change, start doing the right thing, and perhaps we can change or at least set good examples to other around us. I’m sure there are many more who are in agreement with your view points.

Victoria on

Tina you kept me so engaged, you are a fantastic, witty and very capable writer. I compeltely agree especially #1 (rudeness is at an all time high) and #5, We do bring cellphones period on our trips. We leave our travel information with our immediate family in case of an emergency. Case closed.

Kids after trying to wear us down finally understand our rule. Its worked like a charm, when we vacation, we are really together. No friends, office, or social media. Your post was fantastic!

Jackie on

Tina,

You nailed it! I would add one more to that list, littering. It truly breaks my heart to see all the garbage on our highways. Our parents not only insisted on good manners, and treating people the way we wanted to be treated with respect, but also preserving our beautiful country.
We have truly lost something. Especially today with everyone going green how could the most basic way to have a clean environment go overlooked. I know there used to be fines, however I don’t see them being enforced. So sad.

On a good note
Happy Mother’s Day!

Leslie @ Around The Table on

Tina, great piece and I can tell you’ve given this lots of thought. I do feel the generational thing frequently and I think we often offer that up a reason for certain behavior. One thing that really bothers me is people that are ignorant .. or that allow things to just go by for fear of getting involved or being socially incorrect. I know you speak your mind and appreciate this as so many folks seem to just go along with whatever they hear in the media and what appears to be “cool” rather than what makes better sense. Using our minds, communicating off line!, becoming more informed (reading!), and understanding that nothing is free and you don’t always get a blue ribbon (work!) are something that needs to be considered. People would be much happier in life if they assumed responsibility for themselves rather than expecting that they are entitled to it. Okay.. said my piece;) for whatever it’s worth!

Margaret on

Fellow vacationers, I do not need to hear your phone ring, ring, ring.

Followed by lengthy/loud conversation(s) at hotel breakfast, lunch, dinner, on the beach, etc.

Please leave your job at your work. It’s my vacation, too.

Jennifer on

This was so fun to read!! I totally agree with all your points. Don’t even get me started about the absolute drivel that’s considered entertainment on television these days. The sad part is, these shows must have a large audience or they wouldn’t have advertisers willing to buy time during the “show”. And the electronics! People sit around a dinner table, each gazing into their small screens and there is no social interaction. Pathetic and sad. Politeness is a sadly declining quality in(gentle)men these days! But why didn’t another women offer the pregnant lady her seat? I would have! Loved this topic.

Jeanne McKay Hartmann on

Tina, something I love about you is that you are a woman of strong opinions! Thanks for speaking your mind and making us all think a bit. A little mindfulness is a powerful thing!

Happy Wednesday! XOXO

ELS on

I think we could put away a pot of tea and natter for hours on this subject – I did agree, though your Blockbuster one made me laugh. I still think it’s the height of decadence; it seems like yesterday that you jolly well waited for the film to come out at the cinema, then maybe got it for Christmas on video years later…

I do think the keeping in touch side of social media is magical – I have watched the families grow of friends who are scattered so far, and who are as indolent as I, that we’d never have got around to sending so many photos. That side of it I adore.

Catherine on

A fun post Tina…a good one to end on until September πŸ˜‰
Thanks for popping by today…lovely to hear from you…enjoy the summer!

Sandy @ You May Be Wandering on

You nailed these, Tina…I couldn’t have said it better myself!!! You just confirmed why I like you so much!! Have a lovely day! xoxo

Sally on

Hello dear Tina
Very well said indeed…you really do make these points so well, and I agree.
‘Manners maketh man’ was a mantra of my grandfather, and parents.
Like you I yearn for the simple courtesies to Ladies, friends, colleagues and just to a stranger on the street…… these came naturally to everyone, not too long ago.
I also agree about the overload of ‘cant live without technology’ to kids, and adults too I guess…….with one HUGE exception…..
The beautiful, exquisite, inspiring and magical world of blogs….and all of you, the creative geniuses who so graciously write, design and photograph and share…….

sending love and thanks xx

Vicky on

Amen to everything!

classic ? casual ?home on

Bravo, Tina?I am with ya! Except?I have a long trip tomorrow and am looking forward to a little Pinterest?guilty techno pleasure. πŸ™‚

Karolyn on

I am with you all the way Sista!! I only watch PBs.. boring to some maybe but I love it. I too cringe when people are rude and mean to or blissfully so caught up in their own world that when you stop to let them cross the street they take their time and give you a face as if you did something wrong. I miss simpler times… now I guess I sound old, oh well! K

Glamour Drops on

Instant gratification – your opinion reads as music to my own feelings on the matter – you have nailed this.

We have lost the focus of the journey in our haste to get to the destination, and the plethora of social media reflects this – the old joke about “don’t worry about the view, you can see it at home on the photos” has never been more applicable than it is now. I do wonder though, if we will all suddenly go “enough” and swing off on another tangent.

Katherine on

I’m happy that you didn’t dance around the points and sugar coat them. This is exactly the conversation many of us would have with our friends. Basically it is about treating other people the way you want to be treated – no exception.
I saw a pin yesterday that said ‘Not everything needs to be talked about’. How true – far too much media and social media chat.

michele@hellolovelystudio on

i am right there with you about wanting to rewind when it comes to technology. i miss those days enough that i have threatened i’m going to become amish. our kids have no idea what privacy means. how could they? and i miss my family and friends without their cell phones in hand, poised and ready to ditch anything that doesn’t entertain sufficiently.

i think we will someday look back at this time in our culture and call it ‘the dumb-dumb years’ where we misused technology and drifted apart.

all this from someone who uses the internet daily. yep. but i could give it up in a heartbeat.

michele

debra@5th and state on

i could stand and applaud, then hug you tina. i strongly concur with everything on your list as they would be on mine. i too have often said how fortunate i am to have lived in both times, pre-technology and now.

when i travel overseas i cringe as our worst tv shows are all imported providing a warped perception of who we are. while in paris, i find them to be exceedingly polite despite their reputation. . please and thank you are musts, greeting each other respectfully is mandatory. when i return and a clerk in a shop will give me change and never look up and never say thank you infuriates me! what has happened to our society?

phew……..i feel better! thanks tina for this platform and fabulous list
xx
debra

Carol P. on

DITTO…need I say more!

Marsha @ Splenderosa on

I could have copied & pasted this on my own post today.
Every single thing you said resonates.
I am so happy you took this seriously (as I did not) and told us what you really think.
I, too, am appalled at the lack of manners, the sense of entitlement, the lack of committment to anything serious,
and the fact that our news, especially our local news, is filled with horror stories.
I am SO PROUD OF YOU. SO PROUD. You stepped up…and I say BRAVA, my love !!!

GRC Ltd on

Brava, Tina! Well said.
My #1-5 would be “The Kardashians”. They have everything…rudeness, vulgarity, dumbing down of America, & instant gratification.

Lisa on

I could not have said this better myself Tina it was fantastic! There is so much that I see in today’s world that I wish I could change and you certainly have stated five big ones for me as well- The instant gratification really resonated with me I could not agree more it’s completely out of hand!
I feel like people are ruder and more impatient than they have ever been- I think largely due to the fast-paced life we all lead- people have forgotten the joys of stopping and enjoying the simple pleasures in life.
So happy I’m not alone, you were right on the money!

Eli on

Very well said! Especially the rudeness and ignorance.
In Germany we have a lot of big boaster – and there are more and more…! It`s more illusion than reality!

Vicki Archer on

All so true Tina… sad but true…
Well said and a great list…. xv

sharon - my french country home on

I think that dumbing down of society scares us all Tina, and believe me it is happening all over the world!

Sharon
xx

Ree on

Very well said and thought out, Tina. I do agree with all except the technology part…. LOL.
Not sure how I would do without it all and can’t even imagine going anyplace without my iPhone or iPad. We get so spoiled with all the modern conveniences of life.
I’m sure it is all somewhat abused and over-done but I have to admit I love it!
It is a little scary to think what’s next!

Elizabeth@pine cones and acorns blog on

Tina, I could not agree more! Seat belts on the buses and the instant gratification really hit home with me.

It is refreshing to see someone express their opinion about so many great topics.

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