Comments : 48

Hi friends. I want to first announce the winner of our recent porcelain giveaway. Congratulations goes to-

This shipment contains so many beautiful items! I don’t know how to choose a favorite, but I keep going back to the incredible porcelain chargers. Perfect for the holidays!

 

Please contact [email protected] to provide your shipping info so your prize can be on the way.

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Well, its been a very long, stressful, quite surreal almost 3 weeks. If you are looking for a happy and uplifting post, I am sorry to say you should pass on this one and visit another blog. This post may also trigger some of you who have lost a mother or father and I am sorry that we are now in the same club. I am still grappling and struggling with the death of my mother and am up at all hours of the night still in disbelief that she is gone. It is so much harder than I ever thought possible. I naively thought with her long term suffering and increasingly compromised quality of life, it would make this part easier, knowing she is no longer suffering, but boy,  was I was mistaken.

I miss her so very much. And though, Alzheimer’s took a part of her away from us a day at a time with accelerated speed particularly these last few months, she was still there. I miss those weeks when I was staying at my parents home and though she was heavily medicated, and slept almost all day and night,  just being in her presence, holding her hand, talking to her is what I miss most. I cherished going into her room and sitting by her side, gently brushing her hair and talking about different times in our life. Though she didn’t acknowledge me talking, I just know she heard me and knew I was there.

I have moments of feeling OK but then something triggers a recollection or memory with my mom. Something as simple as seeing a box of sprinkle cake in my local market made me break down in the middle of aisle 5. She always made it for my youngest son (who thought no one could make a better sprinkle cake than her), right up until she could still do such things ( a few years ago). The holidays unfortunately are a huge trigger, they were always spent with my mom and dad, and I have such fond memories of them walking through my door bearing gifts and often bags of ingredients that my mom so thoughtfully thought to bring. I wish I could press a fast forward button and go right into January.

This has not been an easy journey. Add to that a massive move from a huge house, well it just about did me in. At times, feeling so overwhelmed it left me breathless (and still does). I am taking it one day at a time. I know everyone means well when they and the many cards I have received tell me, she is at peace, she’s no longer suffering, we had so many great years together, created so many memories, I will feel her with me……that may well all be true, but she’s not here. And that is the part that it so hard for me right now.

We held a beautiful memorial for her at the house last Sunday. One last get together before we move. I cannot think of a more beautiful farewell than one honoring my mother.  It was important for me to do that, and being surrounded by the company of close friends and family, all who adored here felt like a proper goodbye for someone so widely admired.

It’s 4am and another sleepless night. My emotions are so all over the map. All shrouded by such a deep sense of loss. I haven’t been to my office in nearly 5 weeks. Crazy for a workaholic like myself. I am thankful for a wonderful and able team who has kept my business running. It really does take a village. We will be going to spend Thanksgiving with my family in Palmetto Bluff. My nephew and niece work in Savannah and are not off on Friday, so everyone coming to NY was not an option, therefore we are all meeting there so we can be together.

Thanksgiving/the holidays (which I am dreading) do not feel even remotely celebratory to me and if I had my way,  I would stay in my bed for Thanksgiving. But its very important we are together and to support my dear dad who’s having a hard time with this huge loss. I know once we are together it will be cathartic as we will have a small intimate family memorial for my mom there.

Everything feels like a chore right now, a monumental mountain to climb. Just thinking about it makes me tired, I supposed this is all a byproduct of the sadness I am feeling. Just empty and going through the motions.  On a brighter note, I wanted to thank you for your immense kindness and empathy. I have received so many messages, emails, notes, gifts, cards from so many incredible readers/customers. I am truly touched and it is heartwarming to know I have been in so many people’s prayers. I do not take that for granted and am eternally grateful.

I am not quite ready to resume my normal blogging schedule, therefore you will not receive my usual Seven on Sunday this weekend. I am taking a week break from blogging. We are going to be busy the next few days until we leave, settling into our new home then will be with my family over Thanksgiving. I have decided to give myself the gift of grace and time. I need some time right now to work through what I am feeling. As I say all the time, blogging is my therapy,  I so  enjoy it. But, right now I just cannot get enthusiastic about it as I normally do. I know that will change and I will get my mojo back and think this next week will give me that time that I need.

I know my mom is with me, watching over me. She won’t let go that easily:) As we transition from our old house to the new one, thought it would be fun to share with you a few of  my very first posts on the building of our home. The first one is how this came to be and the other two are on the actual home building process. It’s been quite a journey and I wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world. A house that served us well for 11 years, and allowed us to create many memories that will never be forgotten. I will at a later date, do a blog series on this house as it warrants it’s very blog post about the story of our house. It’s a good one.

Here are three of the blog posts-

https://enchantedhome.com/blog/wp-admin/post.php?post=156&action=edit

https://enchantedhome.com/blog/2011/03/31/things-i-am-loving-thursdays-and-house/https://enchantedhome.com/blog/2011/05/26/things-i-am-loving-thursdays-and-house_26/–

https://enchantedhome.com/blog/2011/03/31/things-i-am-loving-thursdays-and-house/https://enchantedhome.com/blog/2011/05/26/things-i-am-loving-thursdays-and-house_26/–

So in case you don’t hear from me in the next week just wanted to give you a heads up. We have some great holiday sales coming up so you will get those notifications, stay tuned. Including our much anticipated incredible ornament event..one you do not want to miss!

In the meantime, just wanted to check in, and wish every one of you a happy, healthy Thanksgiving spent with those you love. Cherish those who are with you now, and don’t take a minute for granted. Life goes by in a flash and you will never regret spending the extra time with those who mean the most. Tell them you love them often and there’s no such thing as too many hugs. Onward to a new chapter. Until next time…..

Rest in peace, my beautiful mom

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Eve on

Tina, take all the time you need. We will still be here. Lost my Mother in 1997. Still feel her loss. I wish my Grandkids had a chance to meet her. But I talk about her all the time and keep memories alive. I promise you, it will get easier. Not today, or tomorrow or next week or month, but it will. Know that she is always with you. There is no greater love than a Mother’s love. This Thanksgiving, share all the memories you have made. Laugh and cry. She will be with you.

Maggie Silton on

Tina, I had a similar experience when my mother passed after years of dementia. The relief I expected wasn’t there. Instead the cumulative losses of all those years came crashing down. It was very very hard. Please know you’re not alone as you try to get through this difficult season.❤️🙏🏻

cheryl p on

You held a beautiful gathering, honoring your mother. You certainly are blessed, and the pictures you have posted on her, radiates her beauty, and I assume, her charm and upbeat attitude! My parents are both gone now, but I think about them all the time. It does my heart good (and I’m sure you’ll agree) that when her grandchildren share their memories about her, it will bring you joy. Your mom is with you always….talk to her, she’s listening.

Jesus Sanchez on

Hi Tina. I lost my family in 2003: Father in March, sister in June, mother in August, separated in September – all in the same year! You need to cry! Cry, yell, cry and cry. It is normal. Yes, your mom is at peace, but you are not. You miss her and that feeling will NEVER go away. You don’t know how many times I smell my mom’s favorite perfume, First by Van Cleef and Arpels, and I just break down and cry. How many times I turn around and say to myself “I’m going to call mom” and realize she is gone. This year makes it 19 years. 19! Countless times I think about my sister and dad. OMG it is just overwhelming at times. A song, a phrase, a smell are all triggers of memories that flood our minds and that is not going to change. I pray for you and for God’s peace and grace as you go through this season of grief. Your emotions are normal. Ignore those people that with all good intentions, give lousy words of “encouragement”. It will get better. Peace to you! Jesus Sanchez

Betty Ann Trible on

The presence of her absence is everywhere…… hold those memories close xo

Meg A on

I lost Mother in January. I think that Mothers are the hardest to loose.

Nancy McMullen on

I’m in tears and so very sorry for your loss. You are correct that it is a club no one wants to belong to. Nothing prepares you for the loss – nothing. Losing your mother, no matter your age, redefines you. The grounding, reassuring stability you’ve known is lost and nothing will be the same again.

Sadly, the only Rx is time. It stubbornly can’t be rushed. As cliche as it sounds, it does heal and enable the warm memories to override the grief. As grief retreats, a new normal is born. You move forward with the comfort of your mother in a new place – your heart.

The loss of my mother was also the loss of my last parent. Though it was 14 years ago, I still tear up from time to time. But I mostly “feel” her with me. I can hear her disapproving of my devoted toilet paper placement of “over” and it makes me laugh. I wish you comfort as you journey through grief. As my mother wrote in her condolence notes to others –

I wish you peace, sleep when you need rest, laughter with the tears and patience when the rest of the world doesn’t seem to notice that your world has stopped for a time. With deepest sympathy, Nancy

Marilyn Ligon on

Believe me Tina I know this pain, I miss my precious Mother everyday and have for years
. , but I still have this empty feeling at some point most day. So sorry for your profound loss. God Bless

Dana Tydings on

Such beautiful and heartfelt sentiments

Rose on

Mama died two days after my 23rd birthday and 4 days before her 49th birthday. She has been gone 54 years. Yet I am sitting here with a box of tissues reading your message. She loved the holidays and I still miss her, especially this time of year. Anyone who has lost a loving and loved parent understands what you’re dealing with right now. Take time for yourself. Draw strength from those who love you. We’re not going anywhere.

Diane on

Tina ~ Grief has no timeline . The truth is you love big ~ you lose big . Don’t think long term because it becomes too overwhelming…….. Just take it one day at a time ……..God Bless

Eileen on

My thoughts are with you.

Marilyn Comer on

I am so sorry. 💚

Janet Cole on

Oh, my heart hurts so much for you…I am on the cusp of losing my mother and I don’t know how I will bear it. I lost my daughter at 17 years old 6 years ago, and I remember a wise friend who told me to not take it one day at a time, but one hour (or one minute) at a time. A whole day seemed unattainable and eternal, so that’s what I did…one minute, one hour, then one day at a time. Praying for peace and healing for you and your precious family.

Andrea on

Hello Tina,

Take all the time you need. I lost my mom in 2011 and like so many people, not one day goes by that I do not think of her. And especially when something is happening in our lives, with the kids and grandkids, I say to her, can you believe this mom? I talk to her and I know she is listening.

A friend of mine told me that the loss of a mom is a club that no one ever wants to join, but we all do at some point. Your emails and blogs about your family and mom is most beautiful.

It sounds like you are very busy with your move, that is a good thing, Best of luck to you.

Take care. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

Diane Massanelli on

❤️

Denise A on

Dear Tina, My heart breaks for you in your sorrow … I can feel your pain. It’s a testimony of the deep love and affection you shared with your wonderful mother. Losing your first love is something you never get over, but will carry in your heart forever. The sting is fresh right now, but the day will come where beautiful memories of a live well lived, will bring a smile to your face. May peace be with you and your family, as you deal with your heartbreaking loss.

Victoria Taylert on

What a moving tribute to an amazing lady! Her absence that left a hole in your heart never heals, but you can cherish the beautiful memories you created together. You have so much to be thankful for this year and just being surrounded by the family will be a blessing. We missed your blogs and look forward to your resuming them, which means you are on your way through the crippling grief. I wish you a very Happy Thanksgiving and a stress free move

Carol P on

Tina, may God wrap his arms around you and give you and your family the peace and comfort that only He can give! You are in my thoughts and prayers.

b on

Tina, I don’t know you but I know the pain you are feeling. You are certainly blessed to have so many kind and wonderful people around you to lean on, talk, cry and to just be. I lost my parents exactly 3 weeks apart to the day coming on 30 years ago. And I was barely 30 years old myself. People were not terribly kind. And certainly didn’t talk about things. My friends were not talkative because it was too awkward – too young to talk about mortality. I will never forget tearing up (quietly) at work one day, and a “very important person” asked me why I was tearing up. I said I just lost my parents a few weeks ago. They told me, and I quote, to “buck up- people die every day.” Not a day goes by that I don’t some how or some way, think about my parents. At my fathers funeral my sibling told me to stop crying, “…that’s enough. We don’t do that.” Please take care of you.

Betty on

You are in our thoughts and prayers.

Nancy Brantley on

Sweet tribute to your mom. Prayers and hugs. We will be here for you.

Nancy H on

Tina, I feel your pain and understand what you are going through. Lost my 94 1/2 yr old mom in February 2021.
I am still grieving . As you said one moment you are fine , the next something triggers the tears. I lived two blocks from her for the last 22 years , always her popping in to see me or vice versa. Every Sunday night we either went out to dinner or she came to our house . I am so grateful that my children saw her often and had the most wonderful relationship with her . This time of year is especially hard as all of my family’s birthdays run from September-December , in addition to the Holidays and anniversaries . It is a constant remainder that she is not here. I turned 60 last week — I so wished she could have been with me as she had been with my sisters.
No matter how old we are or they were ,it leaves a gaping hole in your heart .What is the saying- Grief is the price of love .
She is with you in spirit and you will meet again to share that love .❤️❤️❤️

Pearl on

When you can – listen to Anderson Cooper’s podcasts on loss. It helped me tremendously.

Debbie on

Tina, so sorry for the loss of your mother. I lost my mother 12 years ago; I can tell you it will get better and more tolerable sometime in the future. Pleae know that, although you will think about her and miss her every day afterwards, it will stop being unbearable. In addition, I don’t think your wonderful mother would want you to suffer forever. Hang in there.

Millie DeAnda on

Thank you for sharing your mom! I am so glad to hear that you are taking time for yourself, we so often neglect ourselves. May you have a comforting Thanksgiving with your family!

Nancy Bennetts on

Oh tina – I lost my mom 7 years ago – and a day doesn’t go by that I don’t think about her. I promise time will help to heal – but the problem with a parent dying is that it is just so final. When my mom died a good friend said – remember to remember . Take care – Nancy

Jane on

No amount of time is enough time to spend with those we love. They always leave us too soon.

Deanna on

I’ve been thinking about you, Tina. We’re the same age. I haven’t lost my parents yet, but my husband has, and when his mom died, my father said the loss of a mother is the tough one. I laughed and told dad I’d miss him too. He smiled as one who knows and said moms are very special. I think he still misses his own mother to this day.
“Grief is the price we pay for love,” said Queen Elizabeth when her dear husband passed. I think that’s true. We love, and the loss hurts. I’m praying for you. I’m not looking forward to losing my own mother, but that day will arrive.
Take time to heal. I’m so sorry. I wish your mom was with you in person right now. I do. God bless your dear father, and I’ll be praying for him too. Hang in there.

Liz on

Tina, I urge you to read Dr Eban Alexander’s book “proof of heaven “. It gave me great comfort to know my mother is with me any time I need her and is waiting to great me. It has nothing to do with religion but about the experience of a surgeon. Nothing keeps us from missing them but this may help. Hugs to you.

Mamie on

So sorry for your loss. I had a similar experience to your sprinkle cake in the produce section of my grocery store—saw the pomegranates, a favorite of my Mom’s. Just made me cry. Thank you for sharing your thoughts.

Karen Bauer on

A shining star now, in the heavens!

Fanny on

When my father passed I was devastated and when you say you’d rather stay in bed— I completely understand that. Losing our parents is one of the hardest things we have to endure. Wishing you peace and rest as you grieve this great loss. You are in my prayers.

Lorraine Hutchinson on

You will get through this. Will life be exactly the same. No. But there will be joys ahead
I lost my Mother at 25
I still feel that loss. And then my Father at 40. The abyss widened. But life went on as it does
But the biggest loss was my husband in March. After 62 years the emptiness is huge
But I am marching on. A great grandchild in August was wonderful and sad
I hope your holidays are meaningful and you heal from your sorrow. Blessings

Cathy on

Tina, your Mother was a beautiful lady. I’m so sorry for your loss. I lost my Mother unexpectedly twenty years ago early in December. The first Christmas was hard. The first Mother’s Day was unbearable. I told my children please don’t mention Mother’s Day at all this year.
I want to share with you a friend shared
with me .
You will go to the phone every day to call your Mom out of habit. The first few weeks it hurts so bad when you remember she won’t answer. After a while you will start laughing at yourself. It does get easier.. Also knowing where she is and who’s arms she is in should be a great comfort.
I lost my Dad this year at 96. The holidays will be hard this year but I was actually so happy for him knowing he was going to see the love of his life again. Happy Holidays to you and your family.

Marge on

Tina,
My heart aches for you. God is with you as you navigate the days ahead. Find comfort in your family’s arms.

Jeri on

Tina, thank you for sharing your grief with your community. I lost my mom last month and appreciate how you so eloquently put into words the immense pain and heartbreak that both precedes and follows the loss of a parent. I hope your time with your family brings you solace and comfort. May your mother’s memory be a blessing.

Bethany on

Thank you again for sharing your heart with us…

Cathy R on

Oh Honey, I’m so sorry! You are grieving deeply and the stress of the move and the holidays just exacerbates it all. It’s hard to see a brighter future without her, but it will get better, but you will never forget the love she gave you. 13 years later, I still want to pick up the phone and debrief her on the latest event, funeral, outing, etc. Try to focus on your grieving Dad, but frankly, the elderly spouses seem to handle the loss better than the kids. Older folks expect the loss, I guess. God bless you and your family. You still have a lot to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.

Diane Myers on

Just know that everyone grieves in their own way and that is o.k. As I read your blog it reminded me of many of the feelings I experienced when my parents passed away. I, like you, cried in the middle of shopping at a store or just anywhere. It helped me deal with my feelings. My parents died in the month of September right before all of the holidays. As each holiday approached, all of the memories brought tears and sadness for my loss. I just went through the motions and didn’t do things the way we always did. Someone once told me that the grief comes in waves and it did certainly did for me and it sounds like that for you. Many mornings I would wake up out of a deep sleep and feel such anxiousness and loss. So cry when you need to cry, retreat when you need to retreat, depend on others to lend a hand, don’t force yourself to do things you do not feel like doing, and be good to yourself. I am so sorry for the loss of your mother. .

Shirley @Housepitality Designs on

I am so very very sorry for your tremendous loss. Your heart may be broken into a million pieces, but know she is in your heart helping you mend it. She will always be the Angel on your shoulder and in your heart. May you find joy in knowing that you had the most wonderful mother in your life.

Laura on

Tina, this breaks my heart. My mom had dementia and didn’t know who I was for about a year and a half before she passed. I didn’t realize how hard it would be when she did go because I thought I had already “lost her”. Boy, was I wrong. It’s been over seven years and it’s still hard! Remember the good times. Sending you love and prayers.

Peggy Thal on

💔

Colleen B. Frick on

I definitely get it, Tina!
I am saying this from my heart.
Today, I went to our climate control unit my sister and I rented five years ago exactly. There were so many emotions and memories when my mom passed away.
We were closing on my parent’s house, having an estate sale and not knowing my mom was going to pass away, planning mom’s Celebration of Life at our Catholic Church that my parents founded.
We immediately rented the unit and had beautiful memories (furniture, antiques, mom’s 1950 and 1960’s hats in their original beautiful boxes, daddy’s Prudential awards, our parent’s golf clubs, my mom’s homemade pies baking rolling pin) you name it we kept it if the grandchildren hadn’t taken their special memory items. .There are sentimental large items to the tiniest items of our lives with my parents.
Today, we went and sold some pieces and I kissed some favorites goodbye. This is five years later, Tina.
So I am going back to my first sentence. I definitely get it….with love and continuous prayers for your daddy, sister and for your heart, Tina!
Love you,
Colleen in Jacksonville, FL!
PS. Take your time with your blog. Come back after the first of the year. We all will still be here for you…..ok! Good girl!

Terri Winfied-Story on

My heart is so sad for you. I lost my mother, then one day short of three months later, I lost my daddy. That was in 2011. It never gets easier…nor do you forget. You just learn to adjust. The Holidays bring on major depression for me. I think they get harder every year. If I may give you only one piece of advice, it would be to try to stay busy. I share the Holidays with people that are also grieving or alone. It helps me cope. Sending you a hug, or two or three.

Allison on

Reading your post brings back all the emotions of loosing my own mother. She did suddenly at home at the age of 61, I am now 63 years old. She did not suffer which we were grateful for, we had no closure as many do. There is no good way for them to go, we are left with loss. I pray that all your beautiful memories of your mother carry you through these difficult times.

Betty Livingston on

I can surely empathize with you and more. Losing both of my parents was awful. I still am overcome at times. But losing my soulmate in his sixties has been tragic.
Life is filled with change and always will be. As a Christian, I look forward to seeing them again. In the meantime, I try to make life as beautiful as possible. No one knows how it feels to lose loved ones intil they experience it.
Love to you, Tina.

Mary Lou Layden on

My heart breaks for you. I will pray that somehow you receive comfort & gradually some degree of healing. This is not something you “get over”. Rather, you learn to tolerate it. Take All the Time you need & want to take. The blogs & business will be there when you are ready. God bless you greatly.

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