Hi and Happy Mother’s Day to all the moms out there.  I will not be doing a Seven on Sunday today, as this will be a tribute to the most most wonderful mom I could have dreamed of having, my own mom who has been gone now for just over 6 months. Its been a difficult week for me. There is no more noble, selfless or heroic job than being a mother. It is full of ups and downs, highs and lows, hiccups and triumphs but I think we can all agree…we wouldn’t change it for anything in the world.

My sons have brought me untold joy (and plenty of headaches along the way) but they helped to define who I am and gave me my most important role in life. I must say on a personal note, I had the very best growing up. I realize I was one of the very luckiest ones.

My mother embodied everything that one would classify as a a perfect mother. I have never met anyone more selfless, kinder, gentler, more giving, most elegant, more empathetic, more sensitive to others needs than my beautiful beloved mother. Last Sunday marked the 6 month mark that she was gone. It hit me really hard and its been a really melancholy week for that reason. It is a lingering sadness that I suspect over time will fade but never completely go away.

The grieving process feels like 2 steps forward one step back all the time. Every now and then I will stop and realize she is really gone forever and it feels like a downright sucker punch. My mom was always my “go to” when I was stressed, upset, sad, whatever. She was my safe zone. Just hearing her voice brought down my blood pressure and confirmed that everything was going to be OK.

When I went to visit them in VA, the minute I walked into the house, I was met with the biggest smile and warmest bear hug. Familiar and aromatic scents permeated the house,  a perfect blend of an (always) sparkling clean home and something good cooking on the stove. I walked in and immediately felt safe and cocooned from the rest of the world and any stress it brought my way.

So to have my mom, who was literally my rock taken away from me has been traumatic and heartbreaking. Make no mistake, I am doing fine. I am going back to “a semi normal life” like seeing friends here and there or going out for dinner with couples, but I will tell you, it’s like there is a permanent gray filter over everything I do.

The perspective has shifted, nothing seems as wonderful or exciting as it used to. And truth is, I am my absolute happiest being home, tinkering around my garden, planting flowers or puddling around, that’s when I feel closest to her,  always looking for that red cardinal that showed up on her 6 month anniversary.

I know with time this will get easier as so many have told me and I am confident in that but today, boy, do I miss her. I always loved showering her with special gifts and always, always a box of See’s candy (her absolute fave). I almost always made it there for Mother’s Day so this year it feels strange  and of course, very sad to not be spending it with her.

I will be going out for an early family  dinner with my family and I am sure it will be wonderful but nothing can take away from the fact that on this first Mothers Day without my mom, is a tough day.

I know many of you know this feeling and I am sorry for anyone who has had to experience such grief. It really does leave a hole in your heart. I used to think that sounded so dramatic when others would make that reference, little did I know I would experience it and wholeheartedly agree. It’s an indescribable kind of heartache though I know the grieving process is different for everyone.

For me, it’s been really rough, I have found working has been very cathartic, to be able to throw my energies into something I love has been strangle healing. I also find solace in flower arranging and working in my garden. I try to channel my mom’s beautiful spirit doing things I know she would have like to have done.

These last two  pictures are very dear to me as they were taken while she was in the hospital and though I have a picture of both us (I squeezed into her hospital bed every night) so we could watch TV together, she would not have wanted me to share that picture but the picture of our feet though looking quite insignificant is one of the most important memories of my life.  She was a true lady through and through and she would certainly not want to be seen in a hospital gown!  But our hands entertained like this always brings tears to my eyes, how I miss holding her hand.

It gave me an inner peace that is indescribable. So I am thankful to have all of these wonderful pictures to hold onto. I know she lives in my heart forever until we are united again. Hope you are resting in peace Mom, not an hour goes by that I don’t think of you. Love you forever.

To all the moms out there, both new and old, hope you cherish this day with those you love. Being a mother is a gift that not one everyone is able to experience. To those, like me, who are experiencing Mother’s Day without your moms, I hope that those you love will help to fill the void that is everlasting on this day.  I want to wish you a day filled with joy, gratitude and an immense appreciation of the gift of a single day. Especially when it can be spent with your mother. Thanks for stopping in, until next time…….

My mom was a giver so today only we are offering 30% off our entire shop site in her name (code- Mimi)

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